My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
as a side note pls kill me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
