batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
