Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
