I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
