Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
