Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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