My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize