I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
