I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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