Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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