Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Everything about him screamed your future.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
