is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We just shotgunned beers for America
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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