Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Randomize
