its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
