those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
