i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
