my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
