Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize