I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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