I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
