O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
