apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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