I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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