Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
