you guys were way drunker than both of me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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