i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
