dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
