oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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