the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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