I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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