how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
