Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
