im having a threesome with these popsicles
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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