so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
