Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I fill condoms, not promises.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
