So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What changed your mind?
Being sober
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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