hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize