She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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