His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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