I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
