Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
