I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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