yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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