I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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