does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize