Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
soo... how was my night?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
