but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
