After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
