it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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