He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
