I want to make a zoo with you.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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