I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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