How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
