I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
