you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
