2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
