I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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