Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
please don't ironically join a cult
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