we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
