Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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