I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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