All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
