I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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