the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
