David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
