My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
